One question I get over and over from my followers is how to be a strong woman. As ladies, how can we cultivate good habits that encourage capability, vigor, and tenaciousness? I am here to encourage all of you to step into the truly fearless women you were meant to be!
Remember, women are amazing!
Women are amazing! We are literally the cradle of life. Even if you’re not a mom, you’re probably an awesome aunt, pet-mom, godmother, or even friend. Maybe you’re an incredible gardener. Maybe you have a menagerie of animals. Maybe you take wonderful care of your friends. Women are naturally nurturers and creators. We put life into our children, our homes, our ideas, our art, and so much more. That is pretty damn amazing.
This isn’t a sneer at men — guys, we love you too! Ladies are just so multi-faceted and talented. We do it all, from managing businesses and making high-level decisions to remembering birthdays and cooking delicious meals. While dudes tend to be more single-task focused, women get it all done at once. It’s ladies that answer the phone while cooking a healthy dinner and helping with homework questions and watering the houseplants and filling out the family calendar. Whew!
Realize that happiness comes from within
When talking about how to be a strong woman, it’s crucial to mention happiness and confidence. When you are happy with yourself and confident in your abilities, you aren’t looking to outside sources for validation. By turning inward to find happiness instead of looking to external short-term pleasures or relying on other people, you can start to take pride in your accomplishments and talents. No matter what anyone else says or does, you know your self-worth.
That also means you have to take responsibility for your happiness, and not rely on anyone else (not even a man!) to make you happy. If you’ve made a mistake, if you have emotional baggage, if you’re unhappy about some aspect of your life, it’s up to you to sort through it and deal with it. That doesn’t mean you can never ask for help, but it does mean that you have to take accountability for your actions and their consequences. Being a strong woman means not making excuses or complaining that life is unfair, but making the commitment to change things for the better.
Believe in yourself
It’s impossible to talk about how to be a strong woman without talking about believing in yourself. We all have moments of self-doubt where that little voice inside makes mean comments. That voice that tells you to be scared of public speaking or that you’ll never make it as an entrepreneur or that you aren’t beautiful. Don’t let that voice stop you. While we all have fears, strong women keep moving toward their goals despite of fear.
One of my favorite quotes is from The Princess Diaries. It says “courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear.” Having confidence in yourself and believing in your abilities doesn’t mean you’ll never be scared of anything. It means that you have the courage to step up to the task at hand regardless. That’s true bravery.
Make the Leap
I want all of you to be able to live the full, confident lives you deserve. I caution you against waiting until you’re “ready”. This word “ready” can be a moving target that never appears. If you constantly wait, wait, wait, you’ll find that you never actually get started. It’s like when you’re a kid and you don’t want to jump into the pool, even though you can swim. You’re scared that the water will be cold so you just wait and dip your toes in occasionally. Don’t be that kid! Be the kid in the deep end yelling “the water’s fine!”. Many of the things we are scared of (such as asking for a promotion, going out without makeup, speaking to a crowd) are not life or death scenarios. Sometimes we just have to believe in ourselves and make the jump!
Let’s that metaphor a little further. I am not encouraging you to jump in the pool if you can’t swim. I don’t recommend jumping into any risky endeavors without research and preparedness. For example, don’t start a business until you crunch the numbers and don’t go skydiving until you’ve received proper instructions.
But for the most part, many of the things we are scared of aren’t dangerous or risky. They are nerve-wracking and require us to bolster our belief in ourselves. I am here to encourage you to take on your fears. Even in failure, you can pick yourself up and rebound. Each time you face your fears, you will get stronger until the thing that seemed terrifying isn’t so scary anymore.
Celebrate other people
It may seem odd to talk about other people when we are focusing on personal improvement, but it’s one of the first things that comes to mind when clients ask how to be a strong woman. A strong woman brings other people up to their level. There’s no need to tear anyone down because you have confidence in yourself and your abilities.
While an insecure person may have doubts and try to constantly outshine their colleagues, there’s no need for that when you are a strong woman. You don’t need to criticize others or steal the spotlight. Instead, you can celebrate other people’s accomplishments and help those that need it.
You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are strong. And you don’t need validation from other people or to cry out for attention for those things to be true. That’s why strong women focus on the wonderful things other people are doing and praise their accomplishments.
Remember: empowered women empower women.
Don’t say yes to everything
Confession time: do you say yes to every request? It can be so hard, especially as a woman, to turn people down. We are trained to be polite, so we don’t want to disappoint people or let them down.
However.
When we say yes to everyone, we are really saying no to ourselves. We aren’t giving ourselves time to recharge, we aren’t making sure we can complete everything on time, and we aren’t able to focus on our needs.
If you want to know how to be a strong woman, an important part is learning to say no. It’s not being selfish, it’s allowing you the time and energy to devote yourself to all the things you’ve already committed to. If you say yes to everything, often you end up letting some things slide or doing them only partially because you are simply too busy.
Make a priority list of your activities and commitments. It might be time to cull the list or say no to any more commitments. That way, when you say yes to a commitment, you can give it your full attention.
Ditch the negative behavior!
A strong, confident woman knows she can weather any storm. It doesn’t mean nothing bad ever happens in her world or she’s oblivious to negative things around her. It simply means she makes the effort to see the positive in every situation and looks for solutions.
When you are positive and surround yourself with positive people, you can make amazing things happen! You can inspire those around you, you can create community momentum, you can change the world. It all starts when you shift your mindset.
If you’re on a self-development journey and wondering how to be a strong woman, know that it isn’t a change that is made overnight and even strong women have bad days. However, once you make these mental shifts and retrain the way you see and interact with yourself and the world, you will have the opportunity to live the free, full, confident life you’ve been dreaming of!